Traumatic Bereavement

Sometimes the death of the person you care about has happened in circumstances that cause you to feel traumatised. This may be because there was an accident in which you were also involved. Often it is because you found or saw their body and what you saw imprints itself in your head in a way that you cannot seem to focus on anything else.  Perhaps it is because you saw the resuscitation attempts by paramedics or tried to resuscitate the person yourself. After an accident, a homicide or a suicide, we see real life scenes that would normally be on our TV screens as part of fictional programme. Sometimes our relative or friend was caught up in a major disaster and there is widespread media coverage of the actual event.

Different people can see the same event and react in very different ways. It is just something that happens and you do not need to feel embarrassed or ashamed that you have been affected in this way.

It is also possible to experience this type of trauma if you witnessed a death or saw the person who died even if they were a complete stranger to you and you do not expect to grieve for them even though you may be sad that someone has died and have sympathy for their family and friends.

Most people find that they are more resilient than they ever believed possible. Grieving continues to be incredibly hard but you do find that your emotions change as time passes. Grief is a whirlpool or rollercoaster of emotions at times, when you may feel angry, guilty (even if there is no reason to do so), desperately sad, completely lacking in motivation even to get up, dressed or prepare food. It can be many months or longer before you find yourself able to remember the person who died with mainly positive memories of good times. You will always miss them but you are able to imagine life without them.